Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?

London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.

[…] try to imagine fandom’s reaction if the next big Holmes adaptation to come along had Holmes and Watson as British, yeah - young black British men, living case to case on a council estate in a dodgy area of London. How fandom would react if Sherlock Holmes didn’t employ street kids and homeless people like trained animals to do his bidding, but instead was part of that invisible underclass; if instead of having his eccentricities tolerated~ by Scotland Yard on account of being the Great White Genius, Sherlock Holmes, BME, school dropout, and sometime addict, was regarded by the police as practically a criminal already, one more thug, one more junkie, one more dealer in the making. If he had to choose between buying the week’s groceries or palming a twenty to a bored constable for the chance to spend five minutes on a crime scene, in the hope that whoever’s under enough pressure to deal with crime rates in the neighbourhood will pay him enough for a perp to feed himself and Watson for a month or two. If the greatest threat to his safety were police brutality, or the prospect of being done for a snitch; if his arch enemy weren’t Moriarty, but the systemic poverty and inequality that has him helping out his oppressors just to get by, and that makes the other side of the law look more tempting to someone with his skills every day.

If someone wrote that book, I would totally read it.

(via bemyselfloudly)

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.

  • Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
  • Witness: "I only have one, you know."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
  • Witness: "By death."
  • Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
  • -----
  • Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
  • The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
  • Witness: "July 15th."
  • Lawyer: "What year?"
  • Witness: "Every year."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
  • Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
  • Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
  • Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
  • Witness: "Er...his face."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
  • Witness: "I forget."
  • Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
  • Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
  • Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
  • Witness: "Forty-five years."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
  • Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
  • Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
  • Witness: "My name is Susan."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
  • Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
  • Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
  • Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What happened then?"
  • Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
  • Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
  • Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
  • -----
  • Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
  • Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
  • Witness: "That's me."
  • Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
  • Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
  • Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
  • Witness: "None."
  • Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
  • Witness: "Yes."
  • Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
  • Witness: "Borofkin."
  • Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
  • Witness: "I can't remember."
  • Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
  • Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
  • Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
  • Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
  • Witness: "No."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
  • Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
  • Witness: "Yes sir."
  • Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
  • Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
  • Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
  • Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
  • Witness: "I could see his head."
  • Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
  • Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
  • -----
  • Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
  • Witness: "The victim lived."

loki-assguard:

I decided to do this giveaway becouse everyone loves free stuff and everyone loves the Avengers.

So, here are the things I’m giving away: 1 Avengers T-shirt,1 Iron man USB flash drive, 1 Loki bobble-head.

RULES

  • YOU MUST FOLLOW ME AND GIVE ME YOUR SOUL !!!!!!!!! lol jk, you don’t have to do any of that. Just reblog this post as many times as you want.
  • Leave your ask box open so I can contact you if you win.
  • The giveaway ends on the 8th of June.
  • I will ship to anywhere in the world.


If you need any more information just send me a message. GOOD LUCK! :)

(via neonpocketsize)

missxkaty asked: Penguins or turtles?

Penguins. It’s my boyfriend and I’s relationship animal. Don’t ask, it started with a random stuffed penguin toy and kinda continued from there.